Whats E.T short for?...................Because hes only got little legs. It was coming up to christmas and the judge was in a jolly frame of mind."Now then,please tell me,what is the charge against you?". I was caught doing my xmas shopping very early." replied the man in the dock. That doesnt seem like an offence to me.What do you mean by very early?."Well your honour",said the defendant."It was before the shop was open". Oh.......to be only half as wonderful as my child thought i was when growing up,and to be only half as stupid as as my teenager thinks iam today... For xmas i bought my auntie,a brand new wooden leg.I didnt have it specially made,i bought it off the peg.You might say its not a nice gift. You might think it wouldnt thrill*er. But it wasnt her main present,it was just a stocking filler.
An older married couple are walking in the park when they come across a younger couple kissing passionately on a park bench."Why dont you do that",asks the wife?.The husband replies,"I couldnt do that,i dont even know the woman. At a friends house last christmas,we were watching their 3 year old son playing with his new toy dinosaurs."Tom can name every single one of his dinosaurs."his mother announced proudly.So picking up the tyrannosaurus rex i asked him"whats this one called?The little boy replied confidently......."Sarah".
